Post Competition Thoughts - What's Next

I trained for 16 weeks for the WBFF Central US Championships - I don't even know how many hours of cardio that equaled too, or how many calories I turned down, and the amount of will power I managed to have is completely beyond me now that I look back. 

I've enjoyed the process of competition prep - of total mind and body transformation.  It's an experience you can never relate to unless you do it.  Hours upon hours of cardio and weight training, depriving yourself of a social life and certain foods, devoting all of your time and energy to the sport.  Some people may question my sanity, but I did enjoy it.  I've found that when I'm taken out of my comfort zone, I am able to learn a lot about myself. 

Through this process I've realized that I am so much stronger than I've given myself credit for in the past.  I've got more will-power than most people I know, and I know that if I want something bad enough, I can make it happen. 

But I also realized some other, more important things along this journey.  I realized about 3 weeks out from competition, that I had missed a lot.  I had a husband and a daughter that wanted nothing more than my time and I couldn't give it to them because I didn't have the time or the energy.  As I laid in bed one night, I realized that I had something I'd always dreamed of - a six-pack stomach, a rockin' bod - but I wasn't happy.  At that point I was down right miserable.  What good is a hot body if you aren't happy?  I realized that what I'd thought was so important to me, really wasn't that important at all...and what mattered to me most - my family - I had set on the back-burner.

A couple weeks later, I competed, and I didn't even place...but I'm not upset.  I think God started working in me weeks before the competition so that I wouldn't be upset when I didn't win.  At one point while I was on stage, I looked out in the crowd (you could barely make out anyone in the crowd because of the bright lights), and I saw my mom standing next to one of my best friends from kindergarden, and she was holding Kira.  Tears welled up in my eyes and I had to look away because I thought I was going to start crying on stage!  It was in that moment that I knew where my heart was - and it wasn't on a stage.

Now, don't get me wrong - I loved the competition, and I had a great time, I enjoyed myself, and I'm SO glad that I did it.  It just opened my eyes to a lot of things that I didn't see before.  So with that being said, I've decided to graciously bow out of the competition scene.  I won't say that I'll never compete again, because I may decide to again someday, but for now, and for awhile, I'm going to focus my energy and attention on the people I love.  I plan to pick up some college courses soon so I can finally finish my degree (with MU of course!), and after that I'm going to (slowly) work on my Master's.  I don't want a full-time job anytime soon.  I spent enough time away from my family over the last four months.  I'm going to continue to train and do what I love, and at the same time go to school at a very UNstressful pace. :)  Maybe we'll have baby Burgos #2 in another year or two...and then when the kiddies are off to school, or I lose my mind - whichever comes first - I'll get a career. 

I do intend to keep up with my love for fitness (of course!!) - I love it.  But my fitness goal for now is to find the balance.  You can be healthy, and be happy and not have to live a deprived life, or spend hours in the gym.  That is where my focus is now, fitness-wise.  It's all about being happy, healthy, and fulfilled!