Getting Real

I often have people ask my why I decided to compete - why would I give up a "normal" life to deprive myself of food, workout for hours on end, just to prance across a stage in a tiny bikini - I've even questioned myself.  To be honest, at first I couldn't really answer that question.  The first thing that always came to my mind was - it's something I've always wanted to do.  That answer, though truthful, didn't really satisfy me.  There was more to it than that, but I didn't know what it was.  I fealt like there had to be some sort of "philosophical reasoning" to my committment.

After much prayer and soul searching, I've finally come to my reasons.  And my reason is a selfish one, but I'm okay with that.  I'm doing this because, yes, it is something I've always wanted to do, but more than that I want so badly to prove MYSELF wrong.  I've grown up with very low self-esteem - I had a great upbringing, good family and friends, but just ended up feeling bad about myself like most other women and girls do.  It seems as though in today's society we're not supposed to be beautiful - we are constantly putting ourselves down, talking down, finding something that needs to be "fixed", and that is just the "way it is" these days.  So for years I've said "I'd LOVE to look like that!"  But deep down inside, I never really believed in myself.  I never really thought I'd be able to look like that - no matter how bad I wanted it, I didn't believe.

So here I am now - on a mission to beat the old me and grow into a mature, self-loving, beautiful woman - inside AND out.  I'm going to walk across that stage and KNOW that I have a bangin' body - because I worked my tail off to make it that way, and I'm going to radiate beauty from the inside out!

I realize that most people would want me to say something about doing this to be a great role model, or for fame or some other reason, but that isn't the truth.  I DO want to be a good role model, and to be fitness icon would be a DREAM, but I need to prove to ME first before I can set my sights on the others.  I think in doing this, the other two may come as added bonuses.

So my challenge for everyone is this:  Why are you doing it?  If there is no reason, no target, then you will never be on point...it's like driving blindfolded.  Get real with yourself - don't try to think of a reason that would make everyone else happy, think about YOU.  What do YOU really want?  Why do you wake up early to workout everyday, or pass up the cupcakes that are brought into the office?  Get real with yourself and don't be ashamed to want to be a hottie!  Everyone deserves to be their absolute best.  I believe that once you figure out WHY you want it, the HOW will come a lot more easily. :) 

Have a great day!  I'm off to the gym - I have a Pro Card to win!! ;)