For The Moms - Finding the Balance

I got this topic as a blog request from a friend of mine:  She wanted to know how I prepped for a competition with an 18 month old and a deployed husband.  I've been thinking about this all day, and now, looking back, I'm rather proud of myself for not losing my mind at some point - although I'm sure I got pretty close at times. :) 

Well, for starters, when I decided to compete, I took some time to really think it through - I knew it was going to be hard and I wanted to make sure I could fully commit.  I decided to do one while my husband was deployed to make the time go by a little faster - give me something to look forward to.  By the time I started my competition prep I was 100% revved up and ready to go - at that point nothing could have stopped me!  This was right after Kira's 1st birthday. 

The first couple of months were very tolerable, I'd just started working as a personal trainer and had very few clients at the time, so my work load was very light.  I made it a point to go to the gym first thing in the morning, before I did anything else.  For me, this had to be at 9am since that's when the daycare at my gym opens - So there we were, Monday through Friday at the gym, Kira and I. 

Once my work load picked up a little and Kira started getting into more things, I found myself up prepping for the next day pretty late, which made an early morning pretty hard to come by.  So at that point I made some changes.  I started putting Kira to bed an hour earlier than usual.  This gave me an extra hour of "me time" at the end of the day, and I started waking up at 5:30am.  I've never been much of a morning person, but I liked this routine because I had a couple of hours every morning to do my devotions, read my Bible, or just sit on the couch and enjoy my coffee in silence.

The hardest time came post-competition.  Kira hit 18 mos and was in to everything, I was ready for my husband to return, and my work schedule had nearly tripled.  Between a new job, single parenting, and my own training I was beat! I got so run down that I saw a doctor at one point because I had no energy (I found out later that part of this was due to low iron) - but I made it!  I just put my workouts and nutrition on auto-pilot, tried my best to be a good mom, and prayed for my husband to hurry!

I think the best advice I can give in this area is to have a pretty strict schedule, but at the same time, be willing to be flexible.  Kira goes to bed at 7pm almost every night - so as soon as she's in bed I clean up the house, plan my meals, prep my food, get my gym and work bags ready, relax for a bit and off to bed I go.  I'm working a lot more these days so I'm waking up at 5:30 to hit the gym most days rather than relax, but I make it a point to put my workouts as my first "appointment" for the day. 

If you don't use a planner - give it a try!  I don't know if I would survive without mine!  Obviously, I need it for work, but I schedule EVERYTHING in it - workouts, posing practice, grocery shopping, cooking for the week - it's all in there.  This helps me a TON - it's part of my "strict schedule".

I am always making to-do lists.  I love how good it feels to check off the boxes!  This helps me to focus on one thing at a time rather than my mind running fifty different places at once.

I also learned to let go of a lot of things.  I'm a bit of a perfectionist - if things aren't "perfect", I tend to freak out.  Over this last deployment I had to make decisions:  go to bed and get 7hrs of sleep, or stay up and clean.  Run some errands or go get my workout in.  Clean the kitchen or play with Kira.  I learned to let go of the "small things" and focus on the more important.

I would also recommend a babysitter/"Mommy's Time Out program/daycare for at least a few hours a few days per week.  I love my daughter to peices, but it was so nice to be able to take her to the babysitter, get my workout done, head to work for a couple hours, stop and pick up groceries, and THEN pick her up and spend the afternoon with her.  Had I not had this - I may have gone insane.

The hardest part of this whole journey (it was probably the hardest during the last month of competition prep - very strict diet, extra workouts, no energy) was finding the balance between mother and competitor.  I want nothing more than the best for my daughter, but at the same time, I've dreamed of competing for years.  There were so many times I questioned my decision to compete.  At times I felt like maybe I should have been focusing on Kira more, competition less, competition more, back and forth.  I see a therapist/life coach (highly recommended too!) occasionally, and we discussed this and she gave me great advice:  It doesn't matter what we're doing, Kira just wants my love.  Her attention span is 3 minutes right now, so there is no need for me to be sitting, playing with her all day - I can take her places with me, and as long as she's with Mommy and is loved, she is more than likely content.  This helped me to get rid of a lot of guilt!  So I was able to focus on my competition and I made it a point to show Kira some extra lovin' every free second I had.

This time around, my husband is home - this makes things MUCH easier.  But I still have a schedule that I run by consistantly - flexible, but mostly consistant.  Kira goes to the gym with me when I don't work, and I get in my workouts before work when I do. :)

As far as nutrition - my family eats what I eat. I usually cook, but if my husband wants pizza, he can have it, and I'll have my chicken. :)  I feed Kira what I eat and she has adapted to it well also.  I am very thankful that I started all of this with her at such a young age.  I live vicariously through her from time to time, but she is usually a good eater.

Ok, I could go on with this topic forever!  Please feel free to ask any questions - I don't have all the answers, but I've more than likely been there and can maybe relate. :)