The Hardest Thing I've Ever Done

Well, I'm less than 3 weeks out from my competition - 20 days to be exact!  It's so close that it's scary.  This competition is so much different than my first one.  I have a new coach for one.  He is a professional bodybuilder and has his PhD in Nurtition.  He definitely knows his stuff and believes 110% in hard work.  So, for a little background info, after my last competition, I didn't come off of my competition prep like I should have.  I added in too many calories and carbs all at once.  Sure, you go out and have your cheat meal(s), but this should only last a day or two, then you need to get back on track and add the carbs back in slowly so your metabolism can re-adjust.  Taking calories so low for a competition causes the metabolism to slow down, so if you don't do this, your metabolism will stay slow and when you introduce the carbs/calories back in too quickly, you store it all as fat - because your body thinks it's starving...it's sort of complicated - but if you want to maintain the lean physique, you can't go crazy after a competition. 

That being said, when I started my prep for this competition, I was 15lbs heavier than contest weight (that was 130lbs last time) - and my metabolism had slowed, so my coach told me this was going to be hard - and that basically to get me lean enough, he was going to have to starve me - I didn't take this litteraly. :)

So, over the last 13 weeks, I've been dropping the carbs and fat very slowly.  Now, at 3 weeks out, I'm pretty much carb-free for most of the week (very very low carb).  I have two higher carb days throughout the week to keep my metabolism from crashing (and keep me from going crazy!).  My calories are down to about 900/day.  Yes...I am starving!  On top of that - I am doing 90-120min of cardio per day 6-7 days a week and weights 5 days per week.  I am exhausted to say the least.

My thighs are where the last of my bodyfat is hiding - and the hardest part to lose for us women...so that's why I'm trucking away with the cardio.  My cardio consists of 5 days of low intensity cardio sessions and 4 days of HIIT training, which I usually do sprints at the track, harness sprints, or spinning.  And I can say that I am FINALLY seeing my thighs slim down!  Woohoo!  I'm fighting genetics, child birth, and a past of bad eating habits.

All of that being said, I confess that this is definitely the hardest thing I've ever endured - child birth...awful, but short-lived.  Basic training....nothing!  AIT....awful, but doesn't even come close!  The last two weeks have been the hardest yet.  The combination of low calories and intense training are really taking their toll both physically and mentally.  I'm physically exhausted, but still have to manage to push through a tough weight training session.  All I want to do is sleep, but I have cardio to do.  When the training is done I can choose to sit on the couch - but I have posing practice that needs to be done.  And aside from all the competition prep, I have a family.  I am so thankful that Enrique is so patient and as understanding as he can be.  He has put up with my grumpiness, mood swings, and crying, and he keeps Kira busy when I'm tired or need a nap. 

There have been days that I want to quit, days when I question why I'm doing this, days when I get mad at myself for committing to this, days when I get so frustrated that my body just won't "cooperate" with me, and days that I get jealous of the girls who don't have kids, or have great metabolisms and genetics.  But at the end of the day I have to re-focus and get my mind right for the following day, and the fact of the matter is I wanted to do this, and I still want to.  I knew it wasn't going to be easy, I knew I would have to work hard, I knew I would sacrifice a lot - and when I am done, I will be able to look back at this journey and know that I gave it my all.  I did it, I fought the fight and I won.  Despite all the work and sacrifice that is going into this, I'm learning so much about myself, about my life, about what I want in life, and about my own strength that I never knew even exsisted.  So...20 more days!!!  I can do this! :)